5 thoughts about writing a graduate thesis

I should be working on my graduate thesis.

But I am not. I'm here, procrastinating by writing a blog post.

A year and a half ago, I started a graduate program in Adult Education (which is an interesting and in some ways all-encompassing field dealing with how adults learn, both formally in class and informally in every day life). My thesis, a topic on the interplay between being involved in communities, learning through the media and communications, has been an interesting and often exciting area for me to explore.

But as much as I still love my topic, I am bored with it.

I'm bored with it for several reasons:

1. I've been thinking about it for over a year and a half. This has involved pondering it, collecting data and research, writing and rewriting about it. I've never done anything on one topic for a year and a half. You wouldn't spend a year and a half reading the same book or watching the same movie over and over again, right? So it's painstaking to literally be writing the same stuff for a year and a half.
2. It's difficult to balance with "real" life. I work from home (I'm a contract writer, editor and translator), so I can't really leave home to go to a library just to think about my thesis. I need available for last-minute phone calls or meetings with my customers. In other words, I need to be ready to switch gears from studying and academic work to professional work at the drop of a hat. The benefit of this, of course, has been earning some money while I am a full time graduate student, but the downside is that my focus on schoolwork is often broken up (and thus progress is slowed).
3. It is lonely. As much as I am ok with working on my own, and even enjoy being alone with my thoughts, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I miss human contact, laughter, talking, interacting over things. When I do get human contact, it's usually for professional reasons (work meetings), and so that doesn't really count, either, because I have to be professional and focused. My social life has suffered because the last thing I want to do is commit to going out for an evening when I know that some of my best school work hours are during the afternoon (and frequently bleed into the evenings) and I hate to cut a productive "school day" short because I committed to something before I knew I'd be really rolling on my thesis that day.
4. A thesis is long, and I sometimes get lost in it. My work will ultimately be about 120 pages long. Getting that page count high enough is not an issue for me: at the moment, I have around 190 pages that I somehow need to trim down by 70! However, a document this length cannot be written (or easily read) in a day unlike my old 30 page undergraduate papers, so I often find myself getting lost, repeating myself, and forgetting things. I sometimes feel as though I am running in circles.
5. Knowing it's not going to be groundbreaking work. When I first started on this journey as a "fresh-faced" graduate student, I imagined my research would be read by thousands and I'd create something that would leave a lasting legacy. Unfortunately, I've come to realize that's just not the case. This experience is to prove to your university that you can carry out thoughtful, meaningful research, but not necessarily to provide a lasting contribution to your field. That, I suppose, comes later on. The fact that practically no one will read this after I'm done with it (and I'm not even getting paid for it!) is a little discouraging. I wish it wasn't, but it is.

Strangely, one of the reasons I wanted to do my graduate degree in the first place was that I wanted to have the experience of writing a thesis. I had been proofreading theses for years, and I somehow felt like I needed to have the experience myself in order to better relate to my customers. Going through an editorial process with my supervisor is a wonderful experience that has benefits that extend well beyond my academic life into my work life. However, the personal satisfaction I will get out of having conquering this project has yet to show up. 

Looking forward to that day when I finally finish the work and can celebrate is basically the only thing I have that keeps me motivated. But, with that in mind, sometimes the things that we do for personal satisfaction or fulfillment are the best. I feel like once this is done, it will feel like a gift to myself. Sure, I might never use the degree and, worse case scenario, in today's job market where people don't want to shove out the high salaries it might even make me too overqualified for some things (yikes!) but I do think this is something I'll have to be proud of for the rest of my life. There are so few things in life we can say that about!

(Photo above: A photo I took of Halifax Harbour, Nova Scotia in 2012, where I completed my residency requirement for my graduate program.)